When Family Gets Too Close

[Warning: This story is kinda twincest/slash-alike, though it's pretty innocent.
Don't read it if you don't like it. I'd rate it 14+]

Unbelievable, that it was possible for me to see him through other eyes. To look at him like he wasn’t my brother, the one I’d always been with. That one night he was the most intriguing creature I’ve ever known. And more than that.

Overjoyed Bill had displayed his new purchases on one of the hotel beds. It had always been his dream to go shopping in New York, and finally his dream came true. I smiled when seeing all the useless stuff that he’d been dragging with him all day. “And you’re sure you’re gonna use it all, Billy?” He looked up flabbergasted, to nick excessive. “Of course, why should I buy it, than?” I shrugged my shoulders and put some new shirts from a plastic bag in my travelling bag. It was late, I was tired from walking and it was almost dark outside. Dark, so far as that was possible in New York City.

I already had this strange feeling, that afternoon. Bill walked with his tapping boots over the long shopping streets, and his hair had been dancing on his shoulders in slow motion. I couldn’t help to look at him. He seemed happier than I’d seen him in the last few months and he emanated pure beauty. Admiring I watched his long legs and the blonde locks in his hair. Confused I’d shaken my head, and taken the camera from my bag; I shouldn’t look at my brother this way.

Meanwhile, Bill sat down on his bed and counted up the amounts on the receipts. His face became a bit pale. “I don’t know exactly how much a dollar’s worth, but I’ve got a strange feeling that I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money…” I grinned and knew he was right. “Ah well, 2 months and then we’ve got all the money in the world for ourselves.” Bill nicked reassured because he also realized we could use our own bank accounts in 2 months. In 2 months, we were mature for law.

I decided to help him undoing all his clothes from the price labels and also fold his net T-shirts up neatly. When everything laid where it should, we stood up simultaneously, what made us both smile. “You’re scary” Bill grinned. I shrug my shoulders and pointed at the balcony. “Shall we sit down outside?” Bill nicked and before I came along through the huge, glass doors, I ordered 2 drinks. “Please.” I set the sweet smelling liquor on the table next to him. “Nice, thank you.” He lighted a cigarette, and offered me one too. Grateful I took the little box, to strike the point and inhaled deeply. We were silent while we looked in the distance, smoking. Even after a few days, the view from the balcony was overwhelmingly beautiful. “Look!” Bill pointed at a moving spot in the air, which probably was a helicopter. I followed the light with my eyes, just like he did. “Cool,” I nicked. After putting out the cigarette I stood up to have a better sight. Also Bill took a last drag, and came standing next to me. Not too close, but not so far away that I couldn’t touch him. Touch him? Confused, I shook my head for the second time, that day.

In the distance lamps flashed on and off and underneath us burned the lanterns around Central Park. I watched some people, though they weren’t bigger than some spots on the ground from here. Next to me, Bill looked with big eyes and a sparkling smile in the night. He was beautiful, this way… Fast I stared to the black air behind the enormous skyscrapers again. What was wrong with me today?

My brother turned a bit, whereupon he took the glass from the table. Carefully he brought his lips to the edge and nipped very subtle at the clear liquid in which floated hundreds of little gold flakes. His face went strange. “Boah… that’s strong.” I smiled and streched out my hand to him. He pushed the glass between my fingers and I took a less carefull nip than he did. My mouth started burning because of the sharp taste and I couldn’t help bursting out in a bad fit of coughing. Bill just grinned. “You didn’t believe me, did you?” With tearing eyes and a shameful look on my face I returned his glass. My brother nipped at the cocktail again, without any problems, this time. A little embarrassed I turned around.
After remembering the sight around me I took my own glass, and emptied it at a draught. Bill looked at me with huge eyes. “You drink it so fast?!” With a grin I nicked. “But this wasn’t as strong…” Again I let my hands rest on the edge of the balcony, this time a little too close to my brother. In an uncontrolled move I tugged my hand away from his. “Calm down, man” Bill chuckled. Trying to control my coordination I laid my hand back, a few inches from my brother. I was astonished when it was his hand that moved closer to mine. I looked at him nervously, but he looked in the distance without any strange look on his face. His little finger hooked around mine and I couldn’t do anything else than staring at our hands flabbergasted. I had no idea what was happening between us while my brother looked into the night totally calm. My mouth opened to say something, but I squeezed my lips immediately, like I gasped, needed air because I couldn’t process this. In shock, because of Bill’s hand touching mine so softly…

I sighed, but my breathe escaped from my mouth a bit shaking. From the corners of my eyes I saw Bill smiling. “A bit nervous, Tommy?” I shook my head furiously. “No, of course I’m not.” I knew he could feel my hand was ice cold because of the nerves, but that wasn’t a reason for me to admit in words that he made me so nervous. “You seem to be cold…” I squeezed my eyes a bit; I hated him reading my mind. Sometimes it was pretty cool that I didn’t have to use any words to tell him what I thought, but at moments like these I just hoped he didn’t really know what was going on in my mind. He’d better not know…

Instead of stopping facing me, Bill laid his slim fingers all over my hand. “I’ll keep your hands warm.” He turned a quarter turn so he could take my other hand too. I felt a bit uncomfortable, face to face, hands interlaced. I turned my head fast and released my fingers from Bill’s. But he still didn’t leave me in peace. Now I leaned on the edge of the balcony with my elbows, my head rested on my hands. The lights in the distance seemed to fade every second, shattering rings appeared around the windows and I hardly dared to breathe. I didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol, because of Bill, or because I was worn out from shopping all day.

I knew he felt it too. That there was a strange connection between us indeed, which expressed itself pretty odd, today.

Bill came standing behind me and pushed his hips against me, which made me standing closer to the little fence. I tried to concentrate on my breathing, but I actually just felt how he set himself closer to my backside. One of his arms disappeared over my shoulder, after what his fingers took one of my long dreadlocks. The other hand was laid casually around my waist, to caress my belly with his long nails softly. I went crazy, and nothing less. What was he doing? What was I doing?

But I didn’t want him to leave. I felt his heart beating against my back, his arms which really held me warm and his chin which rested on one of my shoulders. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” His whispering voice sounded so close to my ear that I slightly startled. “Hmhm…” Beside to the wind I could also feel his warm breath against my cheek. I didn’t know if he was watching me, or the lights that weren’t interesting me anymore. My brother smelled like cigarettes and alcohol, but I realized I wouldn’t smell that different. His black hair itched in my neck when his lips brushed softly over my cheek.

I felt thousands of butterflies in my stomach, like a girl held me in her arms and the awareness of the fact it was my brother who held me so lovingly faded away. Still, I took his both hands to shove them away. I saw Bill’s disappointed face looking at me. I knew he thought I didn’t want it. That I didn’t agree with him touching me. But I couldn’t even refuse. He had this power that made that he could do everything he wanted. Just for one time.

I took his hands again and looked at the black and white nails. With my fingertips I brushed over the dark nail polish. Bill smiled and also looked down. The situation was too strange to say something, but we didn’t need words, actually. I don’t know what it was. It wasn’t like he was a girl, it wasn’t the desire to touch, but it was something invisible that made my respect for Bill grow immensely. Something that made me look at him like I never did before. He was so beautiful. Bewitching, was the only right word for tonight.

I felt kind of inconvenient, though. I had no idea what to do. How far I could go, how far he wanted me to go. It already seemed to be so private, the way he touched me and secretly played with me. It had something sexual, though I couldn’t tell why. Things happened I’d never experienced ever before, something that seemed supernatural in my eyes. And I knew Bill felt it too.

I looked in his dark brown eyes in which shattered thousands of little lights. Bill shined. He was prettier than I’d ever seen him, though he wasn’t as dressed as I was used to. Maybe it was actually that.

I released one of his hands and lifted mine to place my fingertips softly on his cheek. Just to feel if he was real. If he really stood there and looked at me so cute. And he was real.

He blinked his eyes and a smile appeared on his face. He looked shyly at the ground, by which his long black eyelashes touched his cheeks. He had a pretty nose, I realized. Just a bit straighter than mine. A perfect shape.

My fingers brushed his long hair behind his ears. The cute elf-ears I was blessed with too. Or cursed, it was the way you liked it. It looked so cute, this imperfection next to a perfect face. I caressed over the edge of his round little ear and kissed it carefully. Bill giggled. A giggle from which I noticed he wasn’t sober anymore. But that was ok. We had an excuse, now.

My brother looked up. I stared at him hopefully and he grinned. Rabbit teeth. I started laughing spontaneously and realized Bill must think the same: rabbit teeth. I looked at my feet but Bill placed his finger under my chin, making me look in his eyes again. I smiled shyly and knew that Bill couldn’t resist that – just like all the others couldn’t. His tongue slid over his full lips before he bent and kissed me. Kissed me! I stood transfixed. It took a while before I got my mind back because the world around me seemed to disappear. Like it was just the two of us, in the middle of nothing. Like time stood still and our lips seem to melt.

But the seconds were still ticking. Seconds in which I looked at my brother confused, in which I wrapped my arms around him and licked the sweet taste from my lips. My lips. His lips.
Again Bill had pushed his mouth against mine and before I actually realised, his tongue had found mine. I felt the cold metal of his piercing softly against my teeth and shivered. A shiver of lust, or of confusion, maybe.

He tasted like cinnamon. That was the thing I remember most of all. And his lips that were inconceivably soft. All the other things just floated around me. The wind, the world, the seconds.

My hands had churned through his rigid hair and our tongues had been playing with each other more and more heavily. Finally Bill had hung against the fence and I had to hold him so he wouldn’t fall backwards. He acted as clumsy as I did. But it didn’t matter; no one would ever laugh about it.

I remember the blank look in his eyes exactly. The strange way of looking, where the alcohol was the cause for. But he was beautiful. So damn beautiful.

Minutes later, hours, maybe, we finally released each other. Didn’t look at each other anymore. Bill sat down on his chair again, me next to him. He took a cigarette, lighted it and took a puff, to give me the fag. I took it from him gratefully, after what Bill lighted another cigarette. We stared in the distance like we did before. Like nothing ever happened.

And then it was over. We started a normal conversation. A conversation that wasn’t any different to all the conversations we’d ever had before. The feeling was gone. Bill was just Bill. And maybe, that was better.